Accidentally In Love
by Sapphire Pirate
Summary: Yet another "What the hell happened last night?" trope. Bones gets grumpy when he realizes that Jim totally forgot about that thing he was dragging the CMO to while they were on shore leave to sleep with a random somebody. Then, Bones think it's hilarious that Jim accidentally slept with Spock. Slightly au, I think


Jim groaned when he heard his door go off. "Jim, get your lazy ass up! You're the one making me go to this dog and pony show today anyway."

The captain opened the door after dragging himself across the room to answer it. "Bones, do you have to be so loud?"

Bones glared at Jim. "Damn right I have to be so loud, especially after the huge fuss you made when -." The doctor suddenly cut himself off, taking a good look at Jim. "Dammit, Jim, I thought you said you weren't gonna sleep around anymore!"

"What?" Jim blinked at Bones through the haze of his hangover. "Bones, I have no idea what you're talking about."

The chief medical officer stared at Jim. "Then explain that hickey on your neck the size of Texas."

Jim blinked at Bones again. "What?" Bones rolled his eyes before pulling out something he could use as a mirror, handing it to Jim once he had it out. "Holy shit!" The blonde touched his neck where he was sporting rather large hickey. After a few seconds, Jim handed the mirror back to Bones before turning back into the room he was staying in during their shore leave. "Hypothetically," Jim began after turning back to the doctor. "What would you do if I told you I'd accidentally slept with a very important Vulcan figure?"

"I think I'd ask you how the hell you got a Vulcan into bed with you."

The captain grimaced. "Chocolate."

Bones raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. "Chocolate," he said after a long moment of silence. Jim nodded in confirmation, avoiding looking back into the room. "Alright, who'd you get into bed with this time?"

Coughing awkwardly, Jim stepped out of the doorway towards Bones, causing the older of the two to back away. With a faint whooshing noise, the door to the room closed. "I don't think you're gonna believe me if I tell you," Jim began, his fingers tapping restlessly against his thighs.

The doctor stared Jim down. "Try me. I've known you for long enough to not be surprised by the strangeness of some of your actions."

Jim cleared his throat, looking down at the ground, behind Bones's head, at his hands, basically anywhere that wasn't Bones. "Don't say I didn't warn ya." He clasped his hands together behind his back, bouncing on his toes like a kid. "It's Spock."

Bones didn't say anything for a long moment, making Jim briefly consider the notion that he may have broken his oldest friend's brain. "Spock," the CMO said disbelievingly. Jim nodded, looking down at the ground again. "Alright, kid, who is it _really_?"

"No, Bones, I'm not kidding." Jim stepped backwards, making the door open again. "Take a look, though I'm pretty sure you still won't believe it even once you see it." The blonde gestured into the room towards the bed.

Cautiously, Bones stuck his head into the room just enough to get a good look at the bed and, sure enough, there was Spock, sleeping in Jim's bed. Oddly enough, the doctor's first thought was that Spock was going to have a hell of a hangover once he woke up. "Well," Bones said, once the door was closed again. "I hope you two have a good explanation for the crew about that hickey of yours."

Jim bounced nervously on his toes again. "I have no idea what we're going to do." He sighed, slumping. "This is a nightmare. What am I gonna tell him when he wakes up?"

Bones grinned, clapping a hand on Jim's shoulder. "Good luck with that, Jim. I'm gonna go leave you to that."

The blonde groaned, dropping his head down to his chest. "I thought you were supposed to help me with hard times like this, Bones."

"Nope," the CMO replied before turning to leave. "This is one thing that you've put off figuring out for yourself for long enough."

Jim's head snapped up to look at Bones as he walked away. "Wait, what does that mean?" The dark brunette waved a hand, leaving Jim to bemoan his fate again. Deciding that it was better just to get it over with, Jim turned back to his room, taking the step forward to reenter the room. He stopped when he was far enough inside the room for the door to close again. "Spock?" The Vulcan shifted slightly in his bed, letting Jim walk cautiously over to said bed. "You awake?"

A few seconds later, Spock rolled over in the bed to face Jim, with a serious case of bedhead. "Captain?"

Said blonde smiled a little. "I think you've earned the right to call me Jim in this situation." After a moment, Jim cleared his throat. "Just so we're clear, how much do you remember from last night?"

Spock sat up. "I believe there was a game of chess involving alcohol, a chocolate board, and chocolate pieces."

The captain nodded. "Yeah, I got that too. Anything else?" He looked back over at Spock. "Any explanation for our matching hickeys?" Spock raised his eyebrow in that famous way of his.

"I'm afraid I do not understand, Jim."

Jim sighed before going to the bathroom to find a mirror. "Just...check your neck for any suspicious marks and then tell me your findings." Spock got up, trading places with Jim as the blonde took his spot on the bed while he went to do as Jim told him. By the way the Vulcan started looking at his neck strangely, Jim assumed he'd seen it. "So, yeah," Jim said lamely when Spock returned to the bed. "Thoughts?"

The Vulcan sat across from Jim at the end of the bed. "The logical conclusion," he began, "is that you and I engaged in sexual intercouse last night." He held up a hand when Jim opened his mouth to say something. "Unless you have a theory that makes more sense, Jim, that would explain the bottles of alcohol across the room and the half-eaten chocolate chessboard. "

The blonde looked over to where there were a few bottles of alcohol and a half eaten chessboard on the table. He looked back at Spock, a skeptical look on his face. "You can really get drunk on chocolate?"

Spock inclined his head to answer Jim's question. "Chocolate inebriates Vulcans the way in which alcohol inebriates humans." Jim nodded in understanding, not really knowing what else to say. "I may have an explanation as to how we ended up in our current situation." The captain nodded, waiting for Spock to continue. "In our inebriated states, one of us made an emotionally rash decision which led to our act of sexual intercourse."

Jim waited for Spock continue, going on with the conversation when it was clear Spock was done. "So basically, one of us was really horny and jumped the other?" He cleared his throat after Spock nodded in confirmation. "Well, then, I apologize for getting us into the situation."

"Actually, Jim," Spock said, cutting Jim off. "This may be my fault." The blonde stared at him as if he'd just claimed that a Klingon was his brother. "I determined some time ago that my Pon Farr was rapidly approaching. Our evening which led us to our current situation may have induced parts of my Pon Farr early."

The blonde blinked slowly. "So let me let me get this straight. Being drunk on chocolate induced part of your Pon Farr?" Spock nodded in confirmation, making Jim go quiet in consideration. "So, what would happen if I were to do this then?" Jim leaned forward, resting on his hands, and slowly kissed Spock. He wasn't sure if he'd done the right thing until Spock cupped Jim's face with his hands, returning the kiss. The blonde hummed a little, pulling back after a few more seconds. "Guess that answers that question then," Jim said, smiling softly at Spock.

Spock took a few moments to observe the blonde's face. "I believe the crew has been attempting to encourage our consummation for several weeks now." Jim looked at Spock, raising an eyebrow in a decent imitation of the First Officer.

"Seriously? And they couldn't have just told us?" Jim flopped back onto the bed, sighing. "I'm pretty sure we would've actually considered getting together before this if they'd just said something."

"In what way would we 'consider' this, Jim?"

The blonde opened his mouth to reply before actually thinking about it. "Well, I'd be kinda shit at bringing it up. And then I'd dance around the topic for a few weeks before really mentioning it."

"So a correct way to phrase that statement would have been 'we would avoid the topic for several more weeks before even consider the possibility of discussing it with one another?"

Jim nodded after a moment. "Yup, that sounds about right." He smiled after a moment. "So, what're we gonna do about it?"

Spock considered his answer for a few moments before replying. "I believe our next course of action should be to confirm that we have indeed consummated and, if we have indeed reached that point, do so again as it would seem to have been a very physically stimulating experience for both of us."

The blonde blinked at Spock. "...You're saying we should have sex again, right?" Spock nodded, making Jim grin just a little bit in a way that made him look several years younger. Jim paused for a few moments, apparently studying Spock's face. "What would your opinion be if we were to consider the emotional aspect of our… _consummation_?"

Jim tried to enjoy the look of consideration Spock was giving him. "You are suggesting that our relationship not only fulfill the apparent physical need we share for intimate relations but also the emotional need?" The blonde nodded, making Spock furrow his eyebrows in confusion. "I was under the impression that our friendship had already fulfilled that need," the Vulcan said.

Spock obviously saw that the look of utter surprise on Jim's face was worthy of amusement clear in his eyes. "Wait. I'm talking about a romantic relationship. What are you talking about?"

"I believe that our friendship has been mistaken for the romantic relationship you are speaking of," Spock replied to Jim's surprised face. "If I understand correctly, many of the crew have been taking monetary bets on how long we will keep our romantic relationship secret."

The blonde groaned frustratedly. "Are you telling me that everyone except for us knew that we were dating?" At Spock's silence, Jim groaned again. "Are you kidding me? Everyone except for _me_ knew that we're dating?!"

"That does seem to be the logical conclusion, Jim."

If Jim didn't know any better, he would have sworn that Spock was laughing at him in his own way. "Are you laughing at me?"

Damn, Spock _was_ laughing at him. "Laughter is not an action generally performed without the presence of joy and happiness, Jim, both of which are emotions. Lack of emotions prevent me from such an action, as you no doubt have no difficulty remembering."

Jim gave Spock a dry look. "You _are_ laughing at me." The captain folded his arms childishly across his chest. "And as to a lack of emotions," Jim drawled out, his lips slowly quickly upwards into a smile. "I'm pretty sure our activities last night answered _that_ question."

And _oh_ , if that didn't make a blush appear on Spock's cheeks then Jim was seeing things because there was no way that two spots of green just appeared on his first officer's face for no reason whatsoever. "Jim," Spock said in a vain attempt to maintain his composure.

Knowing, or rather hoping, what it would do, Jim bit his lip coyly as he looked back at Spock innocently. "What? I haven't done anything."

If there were several additions to the hickey on both Jim and Spock's necks, neither of them said a word about it when they returned to the ship from shore leave the next day.

* * *

Of course, everyone knew by the end of shore leave that the bet about Jim and Spock was won by someone. The winnings were originally set to be split between Uhura and Scotty, since no one was exactly sure when things got "official" between the Captain and the First Officer. But, in the end, it was Bones who got all of it because he actually called it to the day and how everyone else would find out, so Uhura and Scotty reluctantly turned the winnings over to the Chief Medical Officer with a minimal of fuss at the threat of weekly examinations.

So it was on the day following the last day of shore leave, when everyone returned to their normal schedules, that Jim and Spock arrived, separately, for their shift on the bridge. Jim clapped his hands together, grinning at everyone else. "Mr. Spock," he said cheekily, walking over to the science station. "Is there something that you wished to say or ask the crew?"

Spock nodded his head. "Indeed, Captain. If I may?" He directed his attention to the shipwide comm located on Jim's chair. Jim waved an arm, giving Spock full permission to use that comm in particular. A few moments later, Spock hit the comms button, transmitting to everywhere on the ship. "This is Mr. Spock. If it has not yet occurred to everyone, the bet concerning myself and Captain Kirk has been resolved. If there are any minor bets concerning the two of us and the official status of our romantic relationship, they too should be concluded. It is widely known that our relationship became official over the shore leave which finished yesterday. Also," Spock continued, making Jim grin with pride. "Both my and the Captain's congratulations to Doctor McCoy for winning the bet. You may resume your duties" With that, Spock hit the comms button again, closing the shipwide broadcast, and returned to his station.

Uhura groaned internally. Now she owed Nurse Chapel twenty credits. She really had to find out who told Spock about the bet.

* * *

 **A/N: Welp. Any thoughts?**


End file.
